Close the World, txƎn ɘʜt nɘqO

1.5M ratings
277k ratings

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
bearflame
genderkoolaid

tumblr puritans have never spoken to a kinky person and you can tell this because they talk about ~scary~ kinks like a child who thinks their teacher sleeps at school. they have a 1700s "actors cannot be trusted for they engage in obscene behavior" mindset. yes lil buddy people can in fact roleplay situations and then exit that roleplay and have different thoughts and actions 🤗 adding sex to performance does not actually cast a magic spell that turns you into a monster incapable of morality <3

ashgunnywolf

Kink is just LARP that makes you cum.

...Hear me out.

If I say "Nooooo don't kill me!!!" while LARPing, my friend is still gonna whack me on the head with their foam battle axe bc that's what I want them to do. If I actually didn't want to get hit on the head, I'd say "WHOA WHOA WHOA TIME OUT TIME OUT" so they'd know I'm serious.

In the same way, if I say "Nooooo don't spank me!!!" and my partner still spanks me, THAT'S FINE. I want to get spanked, and I'm just playing along. It would only be a real problem if I were to say the agreed-upon safe word, the word that actually means no, and still get spanked.

See? LARP that makes you cum.

genderkoolaid

& to add on to that:

Your friend enjoying pretending to kill you in a safe and consensual enviroment where they know you are also having a good time does not mean they actually want to axe murder people.

And in the same way, your partner enjoying safely spanking you in a safe and consensual enviroment where they know you are also having a good time does not mean they actually want to beat you up

bearflame
hellenhighwater

image

Gonna get myself a fun little surprise I guess

hellenhighwater

image

This is better than I'd ever hoped for, I bet a rat could kill you with that thing by firing a laser back in time and electrocuting your grandfather

Just look at this thing

image
hellenhighwater

The rat gun is hereeeeee!

image
hellenhighwater

image

This is getting notes again so I will admit that "rat gun" was an autocorrect error and it was supposed to be "ray gun."

But it'll always be a rat gun to me.

kiaxet
myothertardisisonthemun

I sent a letter today - something I haven’t done for years

image

It’s full of plastic bread clips

image

It’s for Science

myothertardisisonthemun

At the risk of loosing some mystery, I think I should add some context:

image

There’s this website-I mean, scientific organization called the Holotypic Occlupanid Reasurch Group.

image

They are a group of abiologists who study and classify Bread clips.

I found a species that has not yet been described:

image

Yay for citizen science 👍

numberlover1729

wtf?

myothertardisisonthemun

Update:

image
meckamecha

Apparently HORG is widely appreciated by pediatricians since knowing exactly what kind of Occlupanid a child may have swallowed makes removing it safely much easier

the-real-numbers

IIRC this is actually part of the reason HORG was started. A man swallowed a breadclip and the clip closed around part of his tissue linings (in his intestines I think?). The specific shape and flexibility of the clip were significant determining factors in the removal process, as some bread clips have spikes and prongs that would have made extraction more complicated. They started the taxonomy so they could work out extraction techniques for each type.

wyndryga

are you fucking kidding me occlu like oculus or close and panid like bread. its a fancy word for breadcloser

castrateurfate

happy very specific archive thursday, everyone

kiaxet
wheeloffortune-design

This is why aliens don’t want us in their Starfleet.

carebewear

Are you fucking kidding this is why aliens should be begging us to join their Starfleet. The precision?? The CONTROL?? The absolute mastery this driver has over their 20+ ton of steel is superhuman. This person could weave a mothership through an asteroid belt without making a single scratch on the hull. Foh “aliens don’t want us” aliens should be sucking our dicks.

exlibrisfangirl

image
bearflame
strongermonster

i buried a sword my f*ther made in my back yard YEARS ago and i live on a large plot of land and i can’t for the fucking life of me remember where, is anyone out here psychic enough to point me in the right direction, i’m getting exhausted and can only dig so many fucking holes in a day. yes i’m being serious, i want the fucking sword back

strongermonster

can’t use a metal detector bc junk land + lockdowns so i’m just going to dig holes all weekend until my momther starts screaming

image

only 46 more plots to dig

strongermonster

i was rly unclear so, yellow is places where there’s structures or whatever so it’s not possible for it to be there. red x is where i’ve already been :(

image
image

not pictured; mother yelling at me thru the window to fill in and re-seed the holes i’m making

strongermonster

i was going to take a break bc it’s hot and i’ve been playing manual-labour-battleship for going on 3 hours now, but someone just told me “there’s better lies to make up for notes xoxo” so now i ha—i Have to find this sword to deliver it personally up their ass

strongermonster

image

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA LADS WE’RE IN 34 COULD THIS BE IT AAAAAAAAAAAAA

strongermonster

MY FAMILY SWORD RETURNS TO ME

image
image
image

a girl reunited with her sword

sock-bread

image